Hard forks and armageddon

It’s important to remember that no one knows how it started.

No one even knows where it started. Even those that believe it began with an argument between two hard headed software developers do not agree on which platform the argument began.

Some say it began on Reddit, others say it was on Slack, Telegram, WhatsApp, a developer mailing list or one of a bunch of online forums.

Some say it began on an IRC channel, a natural home for hard headed developers. IRC channel natives vehemently deny this and point to Twitter as the home of short messages, short tempers, and short fingers.

Regardless of how it started, it descended into armageddon.

The future was bleak. At least that was how the super optimists described it. When the nonchalants were asked the question “what does the future hold?”, their responses were always “the future?”

The pessimists never used words to answer questions about the future. They simply beat up anyone that asked. They even beat up anyone in close proximity to the person that asked. Why? Well, the person was close by so why not? You see, during armageddon, rational thinking is abandoned.

The earth was still rotating on its axis but the nuclear dust had blocked out the sun and so there was neither day or night but what was commonly referred to as gray. The few people with a semblance of humor referred to it as “dight”.

“You know day and night. Merge em together to form a word portmanteau, dight” the folks with humor explained. An unfortunate attempt at sounding clever and funny. The attempt was even more unfortunate when the explanation was made to the pessimists. The pessimists simply beat them up and also beat up anyone in close proximity. Why? well, during armageddon, rational thinking is abandoned.

The explosion from the hash rate war caused a 120 degree axial tilt that reversed the earth’s orbital motion around the sun from prograde to retrograde in contradiction with other celestial bodies.

It was brutal. The world had prepared for a nuclear war of devastating proportions but no one had anticipated the catastrophe of a hash rate war.

When the hard fork of the most popular and most dominant cryptocurrency happened, the opposing groups in conflict began the mother of all wars, the hash rate war.

The twenty four hour cable news stations should have sounded the warning but they were too obsessed with ratings and producing low cost panels with round table talking heads.

The newspapers should have sounded the warning, and to be fair they probably did, but who reads those things?

The online influencers and bloggers were too busy taking selfies and pictures of gourmet food. You know, all the really important things in life.

The one group that predicted it perfectly were the cryptocurrency journalists. Most weren’t technical, but they all could spawn a great prose. They couldn’t write enough about the impending doom. At every opportunity, their voices, text messages, instant messages, tweets, blogs, all proclaimed devastation. They sounded the alarm, and their alarm was loud. So loud, it was deafening. So deafening, no one listened.

Software developers who had worked on several open source projects never sounded the alarm. They, more than any group, should have known about the impending calamity. They were technical and they knew what was at stake. Open source projects, are constantly marred with some in-fighting. There are two types of open source projects that aren’t marred with some in-fighting, the ones that are marred with a tremendous amount of in-fighting and the ones that are dead.

When people work for free and more importantly, work because they have an unyielding passion for a project, that passion spills out on the mailing lists. When the egos are at par with the passion, fissures appear in the project.

When the egos can’t be appeased and the fissures mended, the project forks. Each party goes their separate way and implement their conflicting vision. Newbies are usually alarmed when this happens. In time, they too realize it’s no big deal. Most of the time it is even a good thing. The world is better with multiple implementations that reflect the fact that needs are not atomic.

Forks never result in armageddon. Despite what cryptocurrency journalist may write, forks will never result in more than two squabbling groups becoming estranged. The world will in fact be better for the two projects.

What about the nuclear winter, the gray, the dight, the explosion that caused the earth’s axial tilt? Why did people believe the hash war was the mother of all wars? Well, during armageddon, rational thinking is abandoned.

So what was the cause then? See the first line of this article.